KittenPressure IV: A Mad Menagerie
by lilsherlockian1975
Summary: Molly's pregnant, Martin's depressed, Arthur's... Arthur and the whole family's moving into a new house. Poor Toby is just trying to keep everything running smoothly. All kinds of talking animals and Sherlolly in this one!
_**From therealbucky05** Prompt: more of toby, martin, the rat (I forgot her name) and the "dog" I don't understand what breed it's supposed to be. While the sherlolly couple discuss the baby_

 _This grew almost out of control and I added sprickets in honor of Bucky's love of my spricket stories on tumblr. (We've come to the conclusion that they are trying to take over my house and quite possibly the world.) Okay, Bucky... I hope you like this and I can't thank you enough for the prompt because I LOVE writing about these cats (and dog and rat)._

 _(This should be in my prompts but it's part of my KittenPressure universe -but I screwed_ that _up by not putting the last story in with the first two... oops!- so it stands alone.) **  
**_

 _Huge thanks to MizJoely for betaing this, she is wonderful! All mistakes are mine._

 _I own nothing... not Sherlock or Cabin Pressure._

* * *

"This flat is brilliant!" Arthur said, just before bounding through the sitting room.

"It's a house, you idiot," Toby said as he looked around in disgust. "It's also a dump."

"You've clearly never lived in a dump. Take it from me, this is marginally better," Carol chimed in from her cage on the coffee table.

"True, but now I have a good idea what your life was like before joining our little… family," Toby said before gathering his courage and sniffing the odd looking stain on the floorboards. He shook himself. "Good God, what _is_ that?" Knowing his humans this house was likely the site of some grisly murder. He looked around and realised they were missing someone. "Where's Martin?"

"I haven't seen him since just after we arrived. He's been in such a strop," Carol answered.

"I'll go look for him!" Arthur announced then started sniffing his way through the house.

Toby just rolled his eyes. "I'm more of a bloodhound than that beast."

"He couldn't find his own arse with a map and Sherpa guide," Carol said before going inside her little pink plastic 'house'.

Toby made his way through the many rooms of their new domicile in search of his young friend. It was true, Martin wasn't handling the transition very well. He had quickly grown to love Baker Street, having spent a short time at Molly's old flat, that move had been much easier. Now, with their human about to give birth to yet another human, a larger space was absolutely necessary. Martin, for all his naiveté _did_ understand that, he just didn't like it. Toby actually thought that there was a bit more going on. Even though Arthur was the newest addition, Martin was still the baby and he still got more attention from Molly then anyone else. This had bothered Toby at first, he had after all been her cat for years before the young upstart had entered the picture. But soon he realised that the young cat needed the attention more and he happily took a back seat.

Martin had been quite excited at first about the prospect of a new little human around the house. But the further along in her pregnancy Molly got, the less time she had for her beloved cats. Toby understood, it had been like this when she started dating Sherlock, then again when they adopted Martin. The ginger, however, wasn't as forgiving. He was depressed. What was worse, what was clearly making Martin slip even further into the swirling depths of kitty sadness, was that neither Molly or Sherlock seemed to notice.

Toby knew he was going to have to try step in and counsel the young cat before things got out of hand. He'd have done it sooner but he'd been quite distracted himself with the move and pestering Carol and his rigorous cleaning/sleeping schedule… _I've been just avoiding this_ , he thought as he looked into what appeared to be a storage room of some sort. _Not there_. He continued down the hall and looked into another room, finding Molly sitting at a desk going through a box, mumbling something about shacking up with a pack rat. He watched her for a moment and wondered how much bigger she could _possibly_ get. She seemed busy but he couldn't help himself; he was a cat after all. Letting out a long mournful meow, he waited for a reaction, expecting none. He was quite surprised when she turned around.

"Hey there Tobes." She wiggled her fingers at him. "C'mere."

Toby could no more resist the pull toward his owner than he could stop the sun from shining. She looked so tired and a little sad. Bending had been nearly impossible for a while for the very pregnant woman, so he hopped up on the desk then rubbed his head against her hand.

"You wonderful little man, you. Always know when I need a little love, don't you?" she said as she she scratched behind his ear. He was enjoying a lovely petting when her mobile rang. With a roll of her eyes and a huff she answered it. "Where are you, for God's sake?"

 _Ah, must be Sherlock,_ he thought.

"I don't know… maybe because I'm fifteen months pregnant with your child _and_ trying to get us moved into the Addams Family mansion while you're off playing cops and robbers!" She got up, with much effort, and started pacing around the room.

He had no idea what the Addams Family was, but the cops and robbers comment made him smile.

"I'm really not in the mood to hear about your fabulous case right now, Sherlock. What I need…"

Just then Arthur came bounding into the room. "Hey Toby!" He looked up and saw Molly yelling into her phone. "Sherlock?"

"Of course," Toby said with a nod.

"How long have they been at it? I need to go…" He leaned in closer and whispered, " _number onesies_."

Toby sighed. "We've been through this, Arthur, Molly can't understand you. There's no need to whisper."

"Right." The hideous beast started doing a sort of dance, clearly attempting to hold in his, ah, little problem.

"I can't chat right now, Sherlock," Molly said walking closer to the animals. "Your dog needs a walk!" She hung up and shoved her phone in her pocket. "Come on, Arthur let's go before you… well I'd say ruin the floor, but it looks like someone beat you to it." Then she and the mutt walked out of the room.

Toby jumped down and continued on his search for young Martin. He had just entered the kitchen when the cat in question came bounding up the basement stairs.

"Toby! Toby! Toby!" the ginger cat exclaimed.

"Calm down, Martin. What's going on?" Toby asked as Martin came to a skidding halt on the lino.

"Bugs! Hundreds of enormous bugs in the basement!" he screeched.

"What?"

"I was looking for a place to hide and, you know... "

"Sulk?" Toby said. "Yes, it's become your go-to move. Continue."

"And I went to the basement. It's full of huge bugs!"

Toby could see that the younger cat was trembling, so he finally walked over and nudged him with his head. "I need you to tell me what kind of bugs you saw, Martin. And breathe, for God's sake!"

"Okay, right. You're right." He took a deep breath. "They were spiders… no crickets… no, no definitely spiders. I think."

"There's a vast difference between a spider and a cricket. Which is it?" Toby asked, his patience wearing thin.

"Ah, well… cr-crickets. Absolutely crickets."

Toby sighed. "Nevermind, I'll go take a look." He started toward the basement door then realised that Martin was right on his tail. "You're coming?"

"Yes, I can't let these… _monsters_ upset Molly. She's been through enough lately."

He wasn't surprised by Martin's bravery, just a bit wary of how long it would last. They made their way down the stairs and Toby braced himself for a horde of creepy crawlies. What he found was a dozen… _things_? For once Martin was right. Even Toby was having a hard time identifying the creatures. Turning to the closest insect he said, "Hey, this isn't a vacant house anymore, you need to vamoose!"

The bug looked him over then jumped _toward_ him. "We ain't goin' nowhere!" Then went over to where the other bugs were standing.

"Listen," Toby started as he walked to the small group of bugs. "Our human won't want you here. It would be best for all parties if you find another nice run-down hovel to inhabit before she and her partner find you. It will surely end in death."

One of the beasts squared on him. "You threathenin' us?"

"No. I'm advising you," he replied. "How many of you are there? My friend seemed to be under the impression that there was a… _horde_ ," he looked at Martin the back to the insect. "living down here." He looked them over. "I see twelve of you. Shouldn't be too hard to relocate."

"You wouldn't be talkin' so big if you met Herc," the bug replied.

"Herc?" Toby asked, then he looked at Martin, the younger cat just shrugged. Turning back to the insect he asked, "Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"He's our leader and he makes all the decisions round here."

"Ah, well then, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but take me to your leader," Toby said.

"We'll arrange a meeting. But he won't want to talk to you, either of you. You know any bugs?"

"Yes… you," Toby said, completely bored with the conversation.

"You'll need to bring someone to be your reprehensitive," the bug explained.

Toby sighed. "You mean representative."

"Don't try to confuse me, cat!" the bug said, jumping toward him again. "Be back here in an hour and be ready to meet Hercules Ratticus."

"Ratticus?" Toby asked. "Is _Herc_ by chance a rat?"

"Yeah, you got a problem with rats?

"Not in the least," Toby said with a smile. "Come on, Martin."

* * *

Toby and Martin made it into the sitting room just in time to see Molly and Arthur returning from their walk. Molly wasn't in a good mood, at all.

"My God, Arthur. I get that dogs like to bark at cars, but I'll never understand why you only bark at the yellow ones!" she complained as she hung up his leash. "I thought dogs were colour blind anyway."

Arthur looked at the cats and said, "I smell yellow!"

Toby rolled his eyes. "There's always a lemon in every litter," he said with an exaggerated sigh.

Molly just rushed past the animals, most likely to the loo since she seemed to be in a hurry.

"What's wrong, Tobes?" Arthur asked.

"We have a situation in the basement and I need Carol's assistance."

The small rat came out of her little house, yawning and stretching. "Did I hear my name?"

Martin lunged forward. "BUGS! Carol we have bugs!"

"I hope you're not actually surprised. I seen cleaner living conditions in public toilets."

"We actually do have a problem, Carol." Toby added. "And, as much as pains me, we need your help."

"Who me… a simple rat? Helping you two big, strong, intelligent cats? I'm not sure…"

"Please, Carol," Martin pleaded. "It's for Molly."

Toby smirked internally. He knew that would do it. The cranky, self-important rat had a soft spot for their human.

"Fine. What do I need to do?"

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Martin, Toby and Carol were walking downstairs to meet the 'leader' of barmy bugs. One of the mutant beasts was waiting for them at the foot of the stairs. "This way," he said then led them into a smaller room. It wasn't well lit but they could see the other insects flanking what looked like a makeshift throne made out of old video tapes. Sat atop was a large grey rat.

Carol immediately spoke. "Are you kidding me?"

"Carol, what a pleasant surprise," the rat replied in a silky voice.

"Herc get down from there," she demanded. "You look like an idiot!"

"Still just as charming as ever." He laughed as he got down and walked toward her.

"I was told you had a army of bugs and they refused to leave our new home. Leave… Now!"

He got very close to her, then nuzzled her neck. "Is that any way to speak to an old friend?"

Carol snapped her teeth at him and he jerked away chuckling.

Toby watched the exchange in awe and disgust. _Rats… flirting!_ He shuddered.

"We like it here, Carol. Why on earth would we leave?" he asked once he'd moved a safe distance. "I have my army to take care of."

The smaller rat laughed. "Army?" She looked around the room. "I see twelve bugs, Herc."

"Twelve and a half!" he corrected.

Toby was intrigued. "A half?" he asked.

One of the insects spoke up. "Yeah, Seamus here is missin' two legs and an antenna. We he dies we get to eat him."

Martin gasped. "That horrible!"

"You're tellin' me," Seamus replied, sounding defeated.

"Hey, you had a bit of Danny, didn't you?" another bug said.

"I suppose," Seamus said.

"Enough!" Hurc said then returned his attention to the rat. "What incentive do we have to leave _our_ home?"

"It's not _your_ home anymore. Our humans bought it and are moving in. Molly's pregnant and we don't want her upset by these… these…" She leaned in closer to Herc. "What are they, exactly?"

"These are my spricket minions," he answered proudly.

"Sprickets!" Martin exclaimed. "That makes sense. I couldn't decide if they were spiders or crickets!" Everyone turned and looked at him. "Sorry… continue."

"Look Herc, we have a _history…_ " Carol started.

"To say the least," he said suggestively.

 _Oh, I'm glad I had my hairball meds today. The is making me sick,_ Toby thought.

"As I was saying," she continued. "I would really appreciate it if you would take your little group of… _friends_ and leave before you're discovered. We are simply looking out for our humans."

He shook his head. "Completely domesticated. I never thought I'd see the day. But, you're right we do have a lovely past and I probably owe you this at the very least." He leaned in close. "Can I come around and see you if I leave my minions at our new home?"

Carol seemed slightly embarrassed but nodded her head before turning and motioning for the cats to follow.

The rat called out as they got to the doorway, "We'll be gone before dark, darling."

Once back in the kitchen Toby couldn't stop himself, his need to tease the small rat was almost too much. "Carol…"

"If you say one word- one single word, I will find a way to make your every living day a miserable torment of unending pain," she said before continuing on her way.

"Well… that was fun," Martin said with a smile.

* * *

Molly was curled up on the sofa later that night, reading, Toby on her left and Martin on her right. Arthur had passed out on the floor after walking around in circles for two full minutes. Both cats looked up when Sherlock walked into the room. Molly did not.

"Hello," he said.

"Sherlock," she replied flatly.

"Ah, the case is finished."

"I got our room and your office sorted."

"Good, that's good," he said.

 _Well this is awkward,_ Toby thought.

"Hungry?" Sherlock asked.

"I ate. But there's left overs for you if you want some."

He picked up Martin and sat next to her, setting the smaller cat on his lap. "I think we should talk first."

"We are talking."

"Molly…"

"Don't _Molly_ me, Sherlock! You said you wouldn't take any cases this last month. You said you'd help me with the house. You've been gone for three days!"

"Two and a half."

"Today, of all days, when we were moving the animals? You knew I needed you today!"

He hung his head and drew a deep breath.

"We don't have a nursery yet! What if he comes early?"

"I know, I'm sorry it was a nine..."

She shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. Toby resisted the urge to claw the crap out of Sherlock Holmes.

"I don't want you to change, Sherlock. This is your job we're talking about and I always knew it would come first. But right now I need you- _we_ need you. There's a lot to do in this house and to prepare for the birth of our child. You have to focus."

"I will. No more cases for now."

"Just don't leave us for days at a time… for now. Let this," she gestured around the room, still filled with boxed. "occupy your mind for a while. There are things I just can't do right now and I need your help."

He unceremoniously dumped poor Martin on the floor and lunged for Molly, kissing her passionately and mumbling 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

None of the animals were allowed in their bedroom that night.

* * *

True to his word Toby and the others saw a lot more of Sherlock from that point on. Actually they saw a _lot_ of people coming and going from the new house. There was a group of workmen who spent a couple of days painting the room that would be the nursery. They also painted the kitchen and dining room. A couple of people who looked like tramps came and helped Molly clean and sort out the house; even Sherlock had lent a hand. His brother showed up once, turning his nose up at Arthur and eating two pieces of the cake Molly had made. John and Mary, their human's best friends, came around often along with their little one, who Toby actually enjoyed. She was just old enough to give him pats but not quite fast enough chase him if he had to get away from her grabby hands.

All in all things were finally going pretty good around the Hooper-Holmes house until Toby was awoken one night to Molly shaking the bed and calling out for Sherlock. Then it was a mad dash for clothes and bags. Phone calls were made and the couple was out the door, leaving Toby and his friends to wait and worry.

Several hours later a well dressed woman with a mobile glued to her hand came by and fed everyone, then took Arthur out for a walk (which was a good thing, because it was a code red situation with the pooch.) After she left they were once again on their own… waiting.

"How much longer, Toby?" Martin asked.

"I have no idea. How should I know?"

"I'm just worried."

"Yes well… me too if I'm honest," he admitted.

The younger cat looked so sad. "Everything's different now. And it's only going to get worse."

Toby decided it was well past time to intervene and do something to help his friend. "Listen Martin, things are indeed different. But Molly still loves you. She still loves all of us. She's… special. She'd have to be to fall in love with a berk like Sherlock. Believe me when I say she has enough love for all of us." He rubbed his head against the ginger. "The baby won't change that."

Martin seemed to perk up a bit after that and they had a bit of a wrestling match. It was something Toby rarely engaged in, but he knew it would take Martin's mind off of worrying about Molly for the moment, so he did let himself enjoy it.

They were once again visited by the mobile loving woman. She checked on each of them, feeding them all again and taking Arthur on another walk. She even gave him and Martin each scratches behind the ears. He overheard her on the phone as she walked around the sitting room, "Yes sir, everyone's fine. The rat's been fed. So have the cats and the dog, and I walked him again. He barks at cars but only the yellow ones… it's weird." Pause. "Would you like me to stay... _here_ tonight?" She paused then sighed in relief. "No problem, sir. I'll be back first thing." She hung up and looked at Toby. "Okay, I guess I'm coming back in the morning." She waved her hand. "By cutie."

Toby smirked. _I've still got it_ , he thought.

She turned to Martin, bent down and petted him again. "You too, handsome. Keep that dog out of trouble." Then she left.

After another visit from the phone lady, everyone's anxiety was officially setting in. _How long does it take to expel a human?_ Toby wondered. He was pacing along the front window, which conveniently was floor to ceiling, when a black car pulled up. At first he thought it was phone lady again, but then he saw Sherlock get out of the back seat.

"They're home!" he announced. "Martin, Arthur! They're home!"

A few minutes later Molly gingerly walked into the sitting room followed by Sherlock carrying some kind of small contraption. Their human sat down on the sofa with a wince. Toby watched as her mate put the thing he was carrying next her and after a few seconds there he was… their new human.

"I can't believe he's ours, Sherlock. Look at what we made," Molly said she took the baby from him.

"I know. He's perfect," he said proudly, a huge smile on his face.

Toby watched in awe. He wanted to go investigate, but waited for an invitation. Martin, however, walked up, putting his paws on the edge of the cushion and giving his head a sniff.

Molly moved the baby closer to the ginger cat. "Look Martin. Your baby brother. Meet Jeremy Scott Hooper-Holmes." Martin gave him another sniff and backed away with a sharp meow. Their human just laughed at the younger cat's reaction then she looked up and saw Toby. "Come here, Tobes."

He walked over and took Martin's place. The baby smelled odd but he was… quite pretty. All pink and humany. _And ours,_ Toby thought.

"Where's Arthur?" Molly asked.

Sherlock sighed. "I'll find him," he said before leaving the room.

A couple minutes later he was back with Arthur in tow. "He'd managed to lock himself in the basement. Couldn't have been there long. I know Anthea was here this morning." He turned and looked at the dog. "Sit!" he commanded and the dog immediately sat down.

"He only listens to you," Molly said. "I need to feed Scott."

Sherlock kissed her then the baby. "I'll walk Arthur. Will you be okay?"

"Yes, thanks for checking though."

He smiled. "Thanks for having my baby." Then he called for his dog and left.

Molly did something with her shirt and Scott was suddenly feeding from… her! Toby was only mildly disturbed and thought he should probably get used to it. When the baby finished, and seemed to be sleeping, she fixed herself up and cuddled him close.

"Okay you two, get up here," she said to the cats, patting the cushion next to her. "I want all my boys with me."

They both jumped up onto the sofa, laying next to Molly. Toby looked over at Martin, who was purring happily next to his human and he thought about just how lucky he really was. Yes, life was good in the Hooper-Holmes house, very good indeed.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! ~Lil~_


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